Website Copywriting
My approach to website copywriting is like my approach to watching my beloved Newcastle United: I lay my heart and soul on the line in the hope that I get a little payback. Beautiful things happen when you buy into the story and leave a little bit of yourself on the pitch.
"Website copywriting has become generic and predictable. To stand out, you have to take risks. I take more risks than a drunken crab fisherman on the deck of a leaky schooner."
Web Copywriting That Tells a Story
Every brand and business has a story. And every story is unique. It's my job to tell that story in a way that resonates. One thing I don't do is horror stories. My tales always have a happy ending — and not in a weird way.
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I do website content writing differently. I actually like to talk to the people behind the brands I promote. So, if you're ready to share your brand's story with the world, I'm ready to listen. It's story time!
Is Your Web Copy Dying Silently?
You did all the right things. You added keywords, formatted your headings correctly, and described your services or products in detail. So why the fu** is your website languishing on page 45 of SERPs? And why is your conversion rate lower than a wasted deposit of British North Sea oil?
Chances are, your web content is just a little dull. It's not impressing search engines, and the few people who are landing on your pages are left unimpressed.
Where's the value in what you're selling? How can it improve lives or deliver business growth? And why should the visitor give a sh**? My website copywriting services answer all of these questions.
6 Reasons Why Businesses Choose Me as Their Website Copywriter
I'm Really, Really Old
I have a long history of online copywriting work under my belt because I've been doing this for ages! I completed my NCTJ Newspaper Journalism course back in 1996, so you do the maths. Or, if you're a Transatlantic cousin, you do the math.
I'm an SEO Guy
Yea, I do al lthat really technical stuff that agencies charge a small fortune for. You know, the website audits that cost hundreds even though they were generated by thirdf-party software. The giant keyword research reports that look impressive but don't mean all that much. Difference is, I offer these very simple services as part of my web copywriting services.
I Tell Stories
This isn't a euphemism for being a gobshite. I'm a creative writer. To date, I haven't completed more than four novels. Although there's one coming in 2026! I know how to engage the reader and create a mental image. And when you can do those things, you can make the reader the main character.
I'm a Branding Guy
No, I don't burn my logo into the bottoms of livestock. I understand the psychological processes that turn company decals, colours, language, and online content into brands. Every business on the planet has a brand. My job is to ensure the brand sticks and, eventually, becomes synonymous with the stuff it sells.
I'm a WordPress Guy
Copywriting a website is a waste of time if you don't have a *checks notes* website. Whether you need a new website or someone who can make small changes and upload content periodically, I'm your man. I'm no Bill Gates, but I know my way around the WordPress platform.
I Understand Outcomes
A lot of website copywriting services talk about benefits. But that's like sooo 2008. I like to talk about outcomes, which are what happens when the benefits kick in. Driving sales is a benefit, but long-term growth and expansion are outcomes. What's ultimately in it for the reader? That's the question I answer is a UK website copywriter.
Website Copywriting with Cojones
To stand out these days, your website copy has to be bold and brave. In the age of AI gloop, too many websites look pretty much identical. Those that push the boundaries with daring, imaginative, and dangerous copy will emerge victorious.
Ready for victory?
